Waking the Dead
There’s something that I think I should tell you all:
I’m not feeling very well. And I haven’t been for a while.
Something inside me has jumped the track.
I’m confused.
I’m not thinking right.
I’m not sleeping right.
And I— just don’t think I am complaining about this or asking for your help, because there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
It’s just happened and that’s all there is to it. But I don’t know what I’m going to say from one minute to the next.
I really don’t.
I don’t know what I’m going to say and I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Do you understand that? And I know this is coming at a bad time for everyone, but there’s nothing I can do about that. I’m tired and I’m- I don’t see things the way that I used to.
Everything.
Everything.
Everything. is fucking strange and it’s all completely out of control and I’m frightened.
And maybe if you all could give me some real help, you know?
That would be— and not your pity or generosity but some help;
take a look at me!
I know that I am ruining everything, but I can’t— if I don’t say this now, I may never say it.
Everything is going very fast.
It’s going very, very fast.
It’s completely out of control.
And if I don’t say it today, tomorrow may be too late.
I may be too crazy to even know how crazy I am.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what to do.
Something has happened to me and I’m very lost.
And it doesn’t stop.
It’s not getting better.
I don’t get better.
I’m not getting better.
It’s just going on and it’s going on.
And there’s nothing that I can do about it.
It’s not stopping.
It’s not stopping.
- Billy Crudup, Waking the Dead
[ this has, for quite some time, been my favourite “speech” in a movie. ever. because it always seems to hit home very strongly; it always seems to have a relevant place in my heart, in my thoughts and in my life. these words are always almost exactly my own when I’m in a situation that warrants the use of them.
my thanks goes out to Mr. B. Nanna for reminding me that it existed. because I’ve been trying to find it again for a long, long time. ]