polarizeme

My journey to Paris, France began at 4:30am. I “woke up” (ie - stood up. I hadn’t been to sleep yet), put some decent clothes on, packed some remaining items and said my goodbyes to Krispy. I caught the first tube of the day - 5am on the dot. Once on the Eurostar, I dragged myself to the food/drink car and ordered some orange juice and a croissant; the taste told me one thing for certain about my impending trip to France - food was going to be good.

2 hours and 40 minutes later, I was in Paris.

I began my visit with a nice, long, welcoming hug as Chelsea and I made our way to the metro. Our mission: to drop off my luggage and get some food in our bellies. After poking around and checking out our options, we agreed on a Japanese place where lunch consisted of some tastey morsels - I had salmon teriyaki - and a brief lesson in how to say “check, please!” in French [l’addition, s’il vous plaît!]. Also, I’d just like to point out that Paris houses the coolest metro stop name ever - “Les Gobelins”.

After lunch, we made our way back to Chelsea’s apt, where I was introduced to her incredibly nice roomate, Jackie, and their equally as nice friend Natalie. Tonight was going to be a night for drinking; it was their friend Ashley’s birthday and what better way for him to spend it than with his friends, right? Right. We all headed out to walk around for a bit so they could show me around town a little, and so we could pick up some beer/wine for later. We stopped at a crêpe stand and the four of us indulged in crêpes filled with Nutella and sliced bananas; oh my God, you’ve never had anything so damned delicious.

After a small nap on everyone else’s part (and a re-read of “The Dark Knight Returns” on my end), we all got ready and headed out for the evening. To be honest, I can’t accurately capture the events of the evening into text. There was drinking. There was laughing. Ashley and I didn’t speak the same language, but through a few words here and there and lots of over-exaggerated gestures, we got along amazingly. Oh, also, Chelsea and her friends taught Ashley how to say “boobs” a few days prior… he went to painstaking lengths to make sure he said it at just the right time (translation - whenever he wanted to, he yelled it in the most animated way possible) and it was fucking hilarious. After hours of drinking, conversing, laughing, accidentally breaking the tops off of glass beer bottles, peeing and eating candy from the store accross the street… we made our way [drunkenly] home.

My last night in London I bought myself an umbrella. Smart move, as it rained quite a few times during my stay in Paris. Quite honestly, it wasn’t a bother. Nothing could have ruined my time spent with one of the most genuine, welcoming and lovely people I know.

The rest of my time in Paris was spent doing many various things with Chelsea and all of her wonderful friends that I had the pleasure of meeting while I was there. We visited Notre Dame de Paris, the Eiffel Tower, ate more lovely food, perused through a fruit/veggie/meat/everything market, and God knows what else.

Paris is actually a little dirtier than I had always imagined, but (to be quite honest) I don’t think it would be as charming without it… if that makes any sense at all. I couldn’t have asked for a better time, and I want to thank each and every one of the people that I met while I was there.
I want to thank you all for your hospitality and kindness. I want to thank you for letting a complete stranger into your circle of friends - it meant the world to me.

So, here I am… back in the States. My mind, heart and soul are all still stuck; spread throughout various locations in Europe, while my body drones on with some sort of life back here in America. I truly can’t wait for my return, and am counting down the days until it’s possible to be reunited with where my heart truly lies.

I miss you, England.

PS - while in England I discovered a candybar called Fruitasia.
EAT ONE OF THESE!

I’m currently in London with sis #2 and it’s raining outside. [mind you, this isn’t a bad thing at all]

If this trip has served any purpose at all, it’s to return me to some state of normalcy that I’ve only dreamt possible for quite some time. I’ve seen family that used to be as close as any brother or sister [most notably, my cousin Tara]. I’ve been introduced to new family, some of which i never knew I had. I’ve had the delight of meeting a little boy who’s middle name was given to him in homage to me [Adrian Tristan Giles].

I’ve been re-invigorated, recharged and rejuvenated by the English countryside; the well-kept, fresher smelling air; the niceness and politeness of the everyman/woman; the smiles of complete strangers; the stone walkways of London and the hilly fields that surround villages like Marlow, Stokenchurch, Burghfield Common and Thame [to name a few].

I came here seeking piece of mind, and will be leaving shortly [for Paris] with something I never imagined possible: a newly found piece of my heart. I regret not making the journey here sooner, as the discovery of all that I’ve missed has made me realize that I’ve only been living half a life in a half a home; now that the other half has been revisited, I intend on frequenting it as often as possible. For my family, for myself and for any new friends I may make in this - the newest chapter of my life.
…welcome back, Cotter.

While in Burghfield Common, Reading, I had the chance to take a short taxi ride up to Sonning Common and see mum’s Aunt Dorothy - the sweetest woman alive, I’m sure.
Aunt Dorothy visited the states about 6 years ago with mum’s cousin Jimmy, his wife [Allison], and her mum. I need you to keep something pictured in your mind: a 75+ traditional English woman with a sun bonnet, flower dress and sweet-as-pie attitude meeting [for the first time] an 18 year old boy with a neon green mohawk.
why?
because that’s exactly what happened the first time I met Aunt Dorothy.
She is, without question, the sweetest woman you’ll ever have the pleasure of meeting. Since our last visit, she’s taken up painting [something she impressed me with being rather wonderful at], learning to speak French, and the decided task of learning one new trade skill every year for the rest of her life in an effort to keep her mind as sharp as possible.
With a visit shorter than we would have both preferred, we had just enough time to knock back some tea, enjoy a few chocolate covered biscuits and play a game of catch-up with each other.
Being one of the key people I hoped to see while home, I felt a sense of accomplishment, but also a sense of sadness as we were called to part ways once again. I assured her of my hasty return and we said our loving goodbyes.

Upon my return to Burghfield Common, I rejoined the ranks at the house of Giles.
My cousin Tara recently purchased a home for herself, her 3 children (Safiyya, Helena & Adrian Tristan) and their dog [Cyrus] just outside of Reading.
When I was younger, Tara was always viewed as another sister by me. We hardly ever got to see each other, but we always got along well and I loved seeing my sis have someone that she connected with so well. I must say - any doubts that may have ever surfaced as to whether or not we’d all still get along have surely been put to rest. Tara and I had a blast cooking, watching movies and playing catch-up with the two of us, her boyfriend Xavier, and her 3 children… who, I might add, are some of the loveliest 9 and 2 year olds I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. My ears already long for the sound of Adrian asking [in his adorable little English accent] to watch Thomas the train.

oh yeah, chalk that up to the best thing in the world, by the way:
little kids with English accents.

In returning here, I expected to have troubles adjusting to the way life is led… the differences in driving, speaking, eating and living. in reality, it rushed back to me as naturally as any other day i’ve taken a breath in America.
I remember being a child here. I remember places I played in the yard; I remember fields I explored with my cousins; I remember trees, shops and certain chunks of road. I remember because it’s truly a big part of my past.
My only regrets are that I wish I had more time to spend here and that I had my siblings here to share this with me.

With this trip and the reanimated heart it has given me, it’s also given me a greater sense of possibility, faith and hope.
While on the tube this evening, I found myself sitting across from what was one of the most attractive girls I’ve seen since I arrived in England [which is saying a lot]. She had something about her that seemed to tell tales of taking care and pride in who and what she was, while not being full of herself. She wore her beauty naturally, seemingly discarding the use of much make-up, while still having a sense of what it means to dress well and take care of one’s self. It’s not that often that I “check out” a girl, but hey… it happens. deal with it.
Anyway, while sitting on the Jubilee line and staring at an advert above those sitting across from me, I glanced [from left to right] at the faces of my peers. As I got to hers [last on the right] I found that she’d been staring inquisitively at me. I quickly looked away in panic, but [of course] looked back in typical fashion. when I looked back, I noted that she was still looking at me and we both sort of fixed on one another. with a playful smile from each of us, both our eyes danced for a moment while we thought about God-knows-what. After a few moments, she looked away and blushed, our train came to a halt at her station and we two strangers parted ways.
Without a single word, this girl managed to rekindle my faith in the human ability to bring simple joy to someone else that you don’t even know. I’ve lost a great deal of myself to the pains of knowing selfish, inconsiderate and unbearably confused people at points in my life, and this complete stranger found a way to show me that there are still such things as politeness, genuine attraction and hope left in the world.

…now if only I could find a way to birth the feeling of confidence that I’ve never possessed; maybe then I’d have at least a new friend.

updated checklist of family:
Cousin Tara
Safiyya Giles
Helena Giles
Adrian Tristan Giles
Aunt Dorothy

I depart for Paris, France in 25 hours.
Ice cream will be delivered in full [don’t worry about it].

xoxo,
- Tristan -

PS - Be Kind, Rewind is heart-warming, funny and definitely recommended by me. see it. now.

Things I’ve missed while away from this place:

• the differences in names for all the little things
• the countryside
• the architecture
• the fact that this place has always been seemingly freer than the states
• the pure politeness of complete strangers absolutely everywhere
• mint kit-kat bars
• the word “rubbish”
• getting real televised news
• my family
• English white cheddar cheese
• Christmas pudding
• the fact that all plant life seems to remain some shade of green, nevermind the season
• the way the air smells
• the planned walls/shrubbery along the village roads
• the general open-mindedness of mostly everyone
• the care that seems to go into things that get over-looked & taken for granted in the states.

However, I didn’t miss slowly slipping into a bit of an accent [thanks to my family].
I feel a bit ridiculous… which seems a shame, seeing as it now feels slightly awkward and forced to pronounce certain things American…ly. haha.

I currently sound like an idiot.

Update on family I’ve gotten to see:
Aunt Jayne
Uncle Rowen
Cousin Josh
Cousin Nate

PS - I’ve just watched Jeff Bridges throw a full pineapple at someone.
I like whatever movie this is.

I’ve officially just spent time with some of the other 85% of my family for the first time in [what I quite recently realized has been] roughly 16 years.

I couldn’t be happier right now.

I already don’t want to go back.

My memories of the village of Stokenchurch have been anything but misleading; Bangalore House, Falcon Court and Pigeon Farm are all exactly as a I remember them on the outside… The insides, however, are another story.

Nan has since moved from Falcon Court and into Bangalore. My uncle Justin and his wife, Rose, have moved into Falcon Court and completely modernized the inside. The stove near the door where the milkman used to leave milk and white cheddar cheese has been replaced by a new fridge - complete with built-in coffee maker. The larger of two living rooms where I used to spend childhood hours watching reruns of Banana Man, Super Ted, Fawlty Towers, Black Adder and Monty Python has been re-carpeted and re-furnished; the old TV has since been gotten rid of.

The gardens of both Falcon Court and Bangalore are absolutely gorgeous; complete with ponds that contain fish the size of my carry-on bag - all courtesy of the 85 year old, suit-wearing gardener named Harry, who has been working for Nan the past 20 years; post retirement.

I got to meet my little cousins Jack, Jasper and India today.
Jack, my aunt Tracy’s 12 year old son, is quite the fellow video game nerd. Unbeknownst to me, there are sometimes differences in video games over here. Nothing really significant either… It’s strange.
According to his mum, he’s quite picky. I also noticed that he’s shy, yet very outgoing and talkative once he’s comfy around someone; sound familiar, friends?

Jasper, 8, entered the scene fresh off school for the day, dressed in full Roman Empire garb. Apparently there was a play at school and he was very much a willing participant. His costume was awesome! My uncle Justin [his dad] had made him a metallic shield and wooden sword in his workshop the night before - scorpion emblem and all.
My favourite quote from an 8 year old boy?
“Cousin Tristan, may I ask you something?”
“of course!” I responded.
“Why is an ancient Roman playing xbox360?”
Followed by a good chuckle from all occupants of the room.

Last, but certainly not least, is India - Justin and Rose’s absolutely adorable daughter. Donning a white and light pink wool coat and pajama pants, she was probably the shyest of all 3 for a little while. Once we headed over to Falcon Court so her and Jasper could show me their rooms, she soon opened up to me by asking if i’d help her beat up her older brother “out of family love”.
I politely declared my position as a spectator and watched as they battled; Jasper armed with a collapsable tent (yes, really) and India armed with a hand-held fan and a small beanbag chair.
I won’t ruin the ending and will, instead, let you play out the possible scenarios in your mind.

I was greeted upon arrival to Stokenchurch with a cry of “duuuuuuude!” from aunt Tracy, followed by one of the longest, warmest hugs ever.

Everything is absolutely lovely so far, and I can only imagine it will get better.

This evening I watched “the 50 funniest television characters from around the world” on the BBC. Lary David (Seinfield, Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Ali G were among some of the top ten, with Basil Fawlty (played by John Cleese) ranking at #1. I’m going to have to say: I don’t disagree.

Oh, also, I forgot what it was like to hear “fuck” on cable.

Reunited with:
Cousin James
Aunt Tracy
Nan
Uncle Justin

Finally met:
Cousin Jasper
Cousin India
Cousin Jack
Aunt Rose
Donna

Yet to reunite with:
Cousin Tara
Aunt Jayne
Mum’s aunt Dorothy
Uncle Rowen
Cousin John
Cousin Josh
Cousin Nate
My buddy Krispy
Chelsea

Seriously… I don’t want to go back.

My last morning in America was today. I woke to a feeling that can only be described as “almost dead” as my headache, congestion and sore throat must have peaked at that moment. Once fully awake, I journeyed to the airport [accompanied by Mr. Nabeel Krafowts], arriving with little time to spare before my window of time for baggage check was closed. Luckily, the lines in international were short as hell, so I quickly made my way to the check-in machine.

This machine decided to wait nearly 10 minutes before informing me that it couldn’t find my itinerary and to try another machine further up in international.
Attempt #1: failed.

Nabeel & I quickly made our way to another check-in machine - my window of time was nearly closed. Of course, the machine I got to wasn’t reading my finger taps on the screen. Through lots of [what I can only imagine was] verbally proclaimed frustration, it was apparently made clear to the airline worker that I was in need of assistance. He suggested that I try using two fingers to press the elusive buttons on the screen. To my dismay, no difference was made. After 10-15 minutes of dicking around, he pointed me in the direction of another machine that had just opened.
Attempt #2: failed

Now, anyone who knows me well at all knows the direction in which this story is heading:
After 5 minutes on this last machine, added to the 10-15 on the previous and the 10 on the first, I had now spent 30 minutes just trying to check my baggage. And by the time this one got to the final process, I got a polite little piece of paper printed out telling me that I had missed the luggage check-in window. I looked at my phone for the time - I was one minute tardy.

Slightly perturbed, I went up to the desk to talk to the non-eticket employees and explained that I had just spent 30 minutes at the 5 minute check-in machines and they made me miss my luggage check-in time. Seeming quite annoyed, the woman behind the counter told me I was supposed to check my luggage 40 minutes prior to my departure time. I, once more, explained that I had attempted checking my luggage plenty of time before my 40 minutes were up, but after 30 minutes between the uncooperative machines I was late; it was the fault of faulty machines. She failed to grasp the concept that I didn’t choose to spend 30 minutes on broken machines and insisted that it wasn’t the airline’s fault that it took me so long to use them.

At this point I was offered two options:
1) leave the country without my luggage
2) purchase a new 1-way ticket to London for $940.

I offered her a third option:
Admitting fault and helping me out somehow instead of being ridiculous.
With the reluctant help of her supervisor, I was booked on a different flight to London.
Attempt #3: success

I’m sitting in terminal K16 @ O’Hare; my plane boards in 5 minutes.

I’m finally going to my other home.