polarizeme

I just got an e-mail in my Culpa mailbox. it was only spam. however, the subject line was, “good erection!”

hey!  thanks, guys! I really appreciate that!
*high five*
GOOD ERECTION!

with love,
      - Tristan -

So the time has finally made its way here… the Culpa is to start recording again at the end of the month and I couldn’t be more excited. This album has been a long time in the making. Lots of tears, smiles, heartbreak, happiness, sunshine and darkness have poured from me and into this particular creation. I can only hope that it conveys on a recorded format what it does when we perform to each other’s faces in a small practice space.

We plan on keeping some sort of video blog/diary to document the recording process of our new album. No DVD this time - we learned from the last time. ;p

It will feel wonderful to start escaping things again. We’re recording in Milwaukee at a studio called The Exchange and I’m completely amped. I’ve been stuck living out my life for the last year with no touring or recording (demos don’t count) to speak of. Pure hell. I need the escape of a studio experience or a van and day-to-day unfamiliarity to keep myself sane and in check. It’s something I’ve been missing; something I’ve been longing for. Something I’ll finally have to hold in my hands again.

16 days remain.

16 days until I meet a part of myself that I haven’t met in thirteen months.

16 days until I feel I can finally start something of a much needed healing process to make peace with the last three years of my life.

What do *you* need to make peace with?

With love,
- Tristan -

PS - did you know that Billy West, the voice of Fry on “Futurama”, also did the following voices(?):
“Doug” …. Douglas ‘Doug’ Yancy Funnie
“The Ren & Stimpy Show” …. Stimpson J. “Stimpy” Cat/Ren Höek
Space Jam …. Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd
“Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law” …. Dr. Zin
“Futurama” …. Philip J. Fry/Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth/Dr. Zoidberg/Zapp Brannigan/Leo Wong/Smitty/President Richard Nixon’s Head/
“Invader ZIM” …. Invader ZIM

once upon a time, there basted a cloud. it sat hastily upon the tooth of a cougar on the first sunday of each month to cramp better. little did it know that among the teeth was a pope. this incredible birch tree was of monstrous proportions and made watermelons shudder in their scuba gear. oftentimes, the consumption of vegetables would make it facilitate and dig. then, there came along a salamander and the bakery. this was a gooey mouth to poop in, with all the crusty characters that rafted inside. over population soon caused all the pickles to dream. luckily, a funnel of JonBenét Ramsey’s dead mom fucked upon this sweet cavern and granted the cosbies 5,012 wishes. this was only under one condition: that the wishes traipse the dinosaur of the toe. the salamander was granted the privilege of raping the first wish, which earned her much jarod’s love for kristy. this perplexed the other ringworms so that when they were granted wishes they bled, making further wishes smarmy. the salamander, now queen of consuming vegetables, underestimated the consequences of her divine wishes and was obliterated by a soapy jesus christ himself of dental floss.

[the end]

it’s almost 5am.
i’m drunk as shit.
marky is drunk on my bed. should i take advantage of him?
(15 points to those those who said “yes”)

i pushed us through 3 feet of water tonight.
okay, actually it was only 2 feet of water.

but we DID drive through almost 3 feet.
his license plate is perpendicular to the front of his car.
yes… like this:  |-

floods are crazy…
and apparently REALLY funny when you’re drunk as hell.
hey! guess what!
drinking makes the pain go away.
yay dive bars!

love you, everybody!!!!!!!
xoxo,
     - Beer McAlcoholism -

Your results:You are Batman

Batman 100% Hulk 90% Iron Man 65% Robin 60% Green Lantern 60% Superman 50% The Flash 45% Catwoman 45% Spider-Man 35% Supergirl 30% Wonder Woman 30%

You are dark, love gadgets and have vowed to help the innocent not suffer the pain you have endured.

I thought about posting a long, detailed blog about the happenings of this evening, but to be honest, I really don’t want to think about it any more tonight.

Instead, I’m going to recap in short:

01) handcuffed
02) placed in squad car
03) taken to small police station and held for 35 minutes
04) transported in hand and ankle cuffs to prisoner transport van
05) transported to jail
06) processed
07) placed in a jail cell for almost 4 hours, where I was blessed with a hooker solicitor in the cell to my left, and a violent, raving lunatic in the cell to my right.
08) thanked the lord that I didn’t have to spend the night in jail because someone posted bond for me.
09) realized that my bail fee is $1,000
10) started drinking heavily.

*also… I forgot to mention this:
on my way in to be processed, there was a prisoner hanging from the prison bars and masturbating for the camera.
that was, of course, loads of fun (no pun intended).*

…HAPPY FUCKING FRIDAY!!

There’s something that I think I should tell you all:
I’m not feeling very well. And I haven’t been for a while.
Something inside me has jumped the track.
I’m confused.
I’m not thinking right.
I’m not sleeping right.
And I— just don’t think I am complaining about this or asking for your help, because there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
It’s just happened and that’s all there is to it. But I don’t know what I’m going to say from one minute to the next.
I really don’t.
I don’t know what I’m going to say and I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Do you understand that? And I know this is coming at a bad time for everyone, but there’s nothing I can do about that. I’m tired and I’m- I don’t see things the way that I used to.
Everything.
Everything.
Everything. is fucking strange and it’s all completely out of control and I’m frightened.
And maybe if you all could give me some real help, you know?
That would be— and not your pity or generosity but some help;
take a look at me!

I know that I am ruining everything, but I can’t— if I don’t say this now, I may never say it.
Everything is going very fast.
It’s going very, very fast.
It’s completely out of control.
And if I don’t say it today, tomorrow may be too late.
I may be too crazy to even know how crazy I am.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what to do.

Something has happened to me and I’m very lost.
And it doesn’t stop.
It’s not getting better.
I don’t get better.
I’m not getting better.
It’s just going on and it’s going on.
And there’s nothing that I can do about it.
It’s not stopping.
It’s not stopping.

              - Billy Crudup, Waking the Dead

[ this has, for quite some time, been my favourite “speech” in a movie. ever. because it always seems to hit home very strongly; it always seems to have a relevant place in my heart, in my thoughts and in my life. these words are always almost exactly my own when I’m in a situation that warrants the use of them.
my thanks goes out to Mr. B. Nanna for reminding me that it existed. because I’ve been trying to find it again for a long, long time. ]